Work, Identity, and Men’s Wellbeing: The Conversation We’re Still Not Having
- Stephen
- Apr 2
- 4 min read
Updated: 5 days ago
For many self-employed men, especially those running their own businesses, work is more than a job - it’s an expression of identity, purpose, and value. The business becomes not just what we do, but who we are.
But what happens when business slows down, when success doesn’t come, or when pressure builds with no clear off-switch? Too often, the conversation around men’s mental health in the business world centres on resilience and performance, rather than sustainability, vulnerability, or support.
This article explores the complex relationship between work, identity, and wellbeing for self-employed men and entrepreneurs - and why we need to rethink what support, success, and strength look like.
When Your Business Becomes Your Identity
Self-employment offers autonomy, purpose, and the freedom to build something meaningful. But it also comes with hidden psychological risks - particularly the merging of identity and work.
Without external boundaries like job titles or workplace structures, many men begin to tie their self-worth to the performance of their business. When things are going well, there’s pride, confidence, and momentum. But when the business faces challenges, it’s easy to spiral into self-doubt, shame, and isolation.
“If the business is struggling, I feel like I’m failing - not just professionally, but as a man.”
This blurring of boundaries between business outcomes and personal identity increases the emotional risk. Setbacks don’t just feel inconvenient - they feel personal.
The Constant Pressure of Being Self-Employed
Self-employed men are often celebrated for their independence and drive, especially on platforms like LinkedIn. But beneath the surface, many carry a constant, unrelenting pressure to be productive, perform, and prove themselves.
Common themes reported by male entrepreneurs include:
“I can’t afford to switch off.”
“It’s all on me.”
“If I’m not working, I’m falling behind.”
These beliefs can create a cycle of overworking, where burnout builds slowly and quietly - especially when business is slow or uncertain. Unlike salaried employees, self-employed men face financial unpredictability, long hours with no guaranteed outcome, responsibility for others (clients, staff, family), and often, working in isolation.
Over time, this can erode decision-making confidence, lead to emotional exhaustion, and disconnect men from the original motivation that inspired their business journey.
The Emotional Impact of Business Downturns
Downturns in business - whether through lost clients, cancelled contracts, or seasonal lulls - are inevitable. But what’s rarely discussed is the emotional toll they take.
For many men, the impact is not just financial, but existential:
“If I’m not earning, what am I worth?”
“If I stop producing, do I still have value?”
“Am I allowed to rest, or will everything fall apart?”
These questions are deeply rooted in the way many men are socialised - to equate productivity with purpose, and providing with belonging. In traditional employment, job insecurity might look like redundancy. For the self-employed, it looks like silence, hidden stress, and the constant need to create success from scratch.
The Cost of Isolation
According to a 2022 Enterprise Nation report, over 60% of male small business owners in the UK reported experiencing stress or anxiety as a direct result of running their business - yet fewer than 20% had accessed mental health support.
The reasons are complex. There are fewer formal support structures for entrepreneurs. But deeper than that, there’s often an internalised belief that “asking for help means I’m not cut out for this.”
Add to that the lack of emotionally honest peer networks (most networking groups focus on strategy and sales, not wellbeing), and it’s no wonder many self-employed men operate in isolation.
Yet we know that emotional wellbeing doesn’t thrive alone.
Redefining Strength and Success
What if success wasn’t measured solely in growth or revenue, but also in sustainability, clarity, and connection?
Seeking support with wellbeing doesn’t mean lowering standards. It means recognising that resilience is built not through pushing harder, but through cycles of rest, reflection, and support.
Some useful reflections for men in business:
Can you separate your identity from your business performance?
Do you have spaces where you feel valued beyond your work?
What is the emotional cost of constantly staying ‘on’?
Who do you talk to when things aren’t going well?
These are not easy questions, but they’re essential to sustaining ourselves and our work long term.
Practical Support That Makes a Difference
Support for self-employed men doesn’t need to be complex - but it does need to be intentional. Here are a few strategies that can help:
Peer networks - that include emotional honesty, not just business advice
Regular check-ins - with a therapist, coach, or mentor
Co-working spaces - or in-person communities to reduce isolation
Self-imposed boundaries - around working hours and availability
Planned rest periods - , not just reactive breaks after burnout
On a wider level, we need more open conversations within business communities that treat wellbeing as part of success - not a separate issue. That includes more male voices speaking honestly about struggle, recovery, and what it means to thrive.
Final Thoughts on men's work wellbeing
The truth is: we talk a lot in business circles about vision, growth, and goals. But we rarely talk about fatigue, fear, or doubt. Yet these too are part of the entrepreneurial experience.
You are not your business. You are more than your bottom line.
If we want a future where men can lead well, create sustainably, and live meaningfully, we need to start having more of these conversations - and creating support that works.
Want to explore this further or talk confidentially? -
Or read more articles on Men’s mental health!
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